Marriage in normal everyday life can be difficult. And a marriage that has experienced the loss of a baby and is grieving can be even more difficult. We are all imperfect people, making mistakes often and all the elements that make relationships difficult in normal life are exposed and heightened when grieving.
Michelle Horton, a biblical counselor, has been working with women who are hurting for the past 6 years, counseling a variety of issues including grief, depression and anxiety. We spoke with Michelle about her thoughts on grief and marriage, what are the biggest challenges facing a couple who have experienced the loss of a baby, ways to fight against those challenges and fight for the marriage, and lastly what encouragement would she give to a couple grieving.
What do you perceive to be the biggest challenge facing a couple who has experienced the loss of a baby?
- Well-meaning people who try too hard to explain away the suffering (often using Scripture in an unhelpful way) or push them to “move on.”
- A spouse who compares their grieving process to the other and then puts pressure on themself or the other to be on the same page.
- The couple subconsciously puts deadlines on themselves for when they should be “over it.”
What do you think are the most helpful tools for fighting against those challenges and fighting for the marriage/relationship?
What encouragement would you give to a couple who has experienced the loss of a baby?
Michelle Horton has been on staff with Heart Song Counseling for over six years counseling a wide variety of issues including grief, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, family and marriage counseling. She has Master of Divinity in Biblical Counseling from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and a BA in Speech and Communication Studies from Clemson University. Michelle counsels in the Tampa Bay Area and also provides online counseling. She can be reached via email at michelle@heartsongcounseling.