by Kat Schmoyer

• A Mother’s Day Series FOR GRIEVING MAMAS •

Dear Miscarried Mamas, a Letter by Kat Schmoyer for The Morning: A community of women finding hope after miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss.

Dear Miscarried Mamas,

I know this day is hard.

You were a mom, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like you were a mom.

You never got to hold your baby, see your baby or touch your baby. And your little one never got to see you.

You were never given that first sweet family photo; you were robbed of seeing your baby take those first few steps; and you’ll never hear their sweet voice call out “mama”.

You saw those two pink lines & in one instance everything changed. You loved from the very deepest part of you. And you dreamed from the hidden places of your heart.

You dreamed of nursery themes, names & nicknames, and whether he would be a “he” decked out in navy & grey or she’d be a “she” with pink ribbons & bows.

It’s seems unfair. No, it it is unfair that all of those dreams & all of those hopes be taken away so swiftly. You feel like a mother … but you also missed out on so many monumental “mother” things. Why should you call yourself that when you don’t have a baby to hold, to feed, to love?

When you feel forgotten, when you feel unseen … Remember that you are a mother.

As we approach Mother’s Day – a day filled with all the “mother” things – remember that you are a mother. Not “were” or “almost” or “could have been”.

Yes, your story of motherhood is not like rest. It’s filled with heartache & loss & emptiness. But it’s also filled with sweet moments of joy, snippets of happy & a remembrance of that sweet life that no one will ever replace.

On this Mother’s Day, remember that you are a mother. You have loved with the deepest of loves, and your loss, your heartache is not one to be carried alone.

“Wait for the Lord. Be strong, take heart & wait for the Lord.”
PSALM 27:14



Hi, I’m Kat – conference founder, business coach & wedding planner. My husband, Matt, and I work together hosting Creative at Heart Conference from our tiny two-stoplight town in rural Virginia.

Since 2016, we have walked through 2 miscarriages on the road to our current pregnancy with our son. Jesus has gotten us through some of the darkest times in our lives & in our marriage, and we cling to His Hope daily.

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