Did Your Relationships Change After Your Loss | A Free Resource
Recently in our free online community a mom shared about the tension she was feeling in her relationships. On one hand it seemed like most of her friends and family who had been there so presently in her early days of grief had moved on and had forgotten her, leaving her feeling so alone. On the other, when people were around or visiting from the weekend, she often felt overwhelmed or suffocated, feeling as though her capacity had dwindled.
One of the most challenging parts of grief that moms experience after losing their baby is seeing their relationships change, too. Losing a baby through pregnancy or infant loss is so life-altering; the depth of the pain shapes us as people, and also shapes those around us.
Some people are so unsure how to handle such pain and grief that they begin to back away from us; their uncertainty or discomfort in handling the difficult and different emotions that you’re feeling is too much for them and they may even abandon the relationship. Others insist that you should grieve a certain way or not do something you’re doing in their grief - like they know the one right way to grieve and you’re not doing it. Others still may make empty promises to be there when you need them, but when you ask for help they suddenly are unavailable.
Sometimes new friends, or a family member we weren’t previously close to, end up being our best support. We’re often surprised by those who are able to be with us in the moment, who offer true encouragement and friendship, and who remember our babies with us.
After going through such incredible pain in losing your baby, it can often feel as though you’re thrown back into grief again when it comes to navigating your relationships. You may miss those who you expected to be there but who have let you down; you may lament what your relationship - or you - used to be. Those secondary losses are real, hard, and confusing. It’s okay to grieve them too.
In order to help you process your relationships, we thought you’d find this page (pictured below) helpful from The Morning Circle Workbook. Set aside some time this week to fill this in - answer one question about your relationships, take one practical step, write out the truth in the verses shared, and make note of one good thing you’ve experienced this week. Simply naming how you’re doing can be a huge step towards healing.
Download your free workbook page below, just tell us where to send it!
PS: Wondering what The Morning Circle is? Get all the details here.