There aren’t enough words to share how much The Joyful Mourning Podcast has meant to me. I was told about it a few weeks after my son passed away and it became a balm to my soul. The world was upside down and I found myself on a foreign planet speaking a language no one understood. But when I clicked on a podcast episode, I could breathe for a few minutes knowing someone else spoke the same language as me and I wasn’t alone… or crazy… or hopeless.

In the early days, hearing other moms who had gone into battle armed with the truths of God, had wrestled and come out the other side, the hope their words gave my broken heart were beyond words.

This podcast taught me that it is okay, good and healthy to go through the grieving process after my miscarriage, and showed me how to do that.

Before I found this I was drowning in unhealthy coping mechanisms and pretending I was okay.

So the most helpful thing for me has been learning it’s alright to grieve.

I love that at the beginning of every podcast, a grieving mom (Ashlee) was telling me that she legitimately understood what I was going through, I was not alone, and I would taste the Lord’s goodness again. I couldn’t hear those words or that kind of encouragement and believe it from anyone unless they had gone through baby loss. I also love how accessible of encouragement it is. Every day for at least four weeks after I found the podcast, I would get my boys down for a nap and find one based on what I was experiencing and it was such a lifeline.

I find this podcast to be so important to women who are grieving. As much medical support as we have in the area where I live, I haven't felt the loss and bereavement support. Even though our daughter was in pediatric hospice, all materials provided to us after her death were tailored to adults. I saw a therapist for a few sessions and she minimized my grief because we knew Riley would die due to her diagnosis. It has been so hard to find resources that bring comfort, and this podcast has been instrumental in helping me walk through my grief.

One of the things Riley and I did a lot throughout her short life was going on walks around our neighborhood. When I need to feel more connected to her and my grief from losing her, I turn on this podcast and go for a walk on "Riley's route".

I think a grieving mom should listen because there's so much comfort in knowing we aren't alone. I often find myself nodding my head while listening to the podcast, and appreciate how natural even some of my most uncomfortable feelings are. To hear things said on the podcast that I have felt and to know that it's not just me has been so incredibly comforting.

Honestly, I think the biggest thing it [The Joyful Mourning Podcast] did was help me not feel crazy. I loved that I was able to hear from women in all stages of this "new normal." There have been many days where I've wondered if I'm going to be ok, or if I'm going to be perpetually sad for the rest of my life. Hearing other women talk about guilt when you laugh, wanting to stay sad, and questioning God's goodness helped me realize that hope was not lost. I'll start feeling better, I'll learn more of God's character, and I'll learn to trust him again. I want that for other grieving moms, too.

This group and ministry has been beyond a blessing to me. You guys have helped me survive this.