Letter to the Grieving Mom in the Waiting: Between Diagnosis and Birth

Sharon Szymula

Dear grieving mom,

It’s been almost a year since my daughter was born still at 26 weeks young. It’s been almost a year since I heard the diagnosis as to why doctors could not do anything for her if she were to make it full term. It’s been almost a year since I was in the hospital room surrounded by angels disguised as nurses as the most beautiful sunset was setting as I held the daughter I have always prayed for.

For me, the waiting was the hardest part. Our daughter Madelyn was diagnosed with a severe congenital heart defect called ‘Ebstein’s anomaly’ at 21 weeks old. After hour-long ultrasounds and multiple doctors’ appointments, it was “concluded” that if Madelyn were to make it to full term, her minutes alive here on Earth would be limited. While my husband and I believe in miracles, we are also very blessed to live near one of the best pediatric cardiology hospitals in the United States, and we had to prepare for what would most likely be.

So we had to wait. We were told to continue going to our scheduled monthly checkups, and act like our situation was just like any other pregnancy...but what do you do in the waiting? If I could go back to that time and tell myself something, it would be to be present and aware of all that God is doing, even in the smallest moments. Looking back, I find some of the things we went through to be nothing short of the miracle that we were waiting for.

I had Madelyn on a Friday, and to this day I still wear my itchy and uncomfortable bright blue pregnancy socks that I got from the hospital as a reminder that God took the hardest time in my life, and used it for such good. Worship music also continues to help me on days that are hard. One of my favorite songs is by Kristine Dimarco and the lyrics are:

“And You who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep Your promise to me
That I will rise in Your victory
Take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting.”

You will rise in His victory and so will your baby, no matter what happens. A peace that surpasses all understanding will help you stay steadfast and give you courage. He is in all the waiting.

Love, a mom who understands

Meet the Author:
Sharon Szymula

Hi! My name is Sharon Szymula (SH-MOO-LA). I am a daughter of the one true king, a wife to my husband Michael, and a mother to my son Phil (2.5 yo) and daughter Madelyn (10 months with Jesus). I am also a speech language pathologist that loves to read, exercise, and watch television that rots my brain :)

Connect with Author: @sharonszymula