The Weary World Rejoices | Hope for the Holidays after Pregnancy and Infant Loss

by Diedra Black

A Thrill of Hope, The Weary World Rejoices.

Rejoice – /rəˈjois/ - verb - feel or show great joy. As moms of loss, we know a weariness that digs deep into our souls and makes it challenging to see, have or express joy. This is especially difficult around the holidays.

July 2020, in the middle of the chaos of a global pandemic, at almost 19 weeks pregnant, we lost our sweet Ellie Jeanne. Her original due date was supposed to be the day after Christmas, my most favorite time of year. My birthday is near Christmas as well, so I was excited to welcome my girl into sharing a birthday with Jesus and celebrating together every year when the whole world feels joyous and magical! But then we lost her and instead of magic and excitement that first Christmas, everything reminded us of what was missing. Family pictures for the Christmas card lacking a swollen belly, a stocking picked out knowing it would never be filled, and days spent counting down to a memory rather than an expectant future.

One aftereffect to Christmas after loss that I didn’t expect was how the music impacted me. I love Christmas music and make myself wait until November 1st each year to start the holiday playlists. Once November hits if it doesn’t have jingling bells or jazzy feels it is off limits. Christmas music fills our homes and cars and stores with a type of nostalgia that no other melodies can produce. As the first note hits, and Bing Crosby’s voice fades in, I can almost smell the cinnamon and pine with a hint of chocolate and baked goodies in the air.

It was tricky to navigate Christmas music after loss. Every song filled with lyrics of family togetherness and children laughing and playing… it felt more like nails on a chalkboard rather than a holiday classic. But there was one song that stopped me in my tracks, and I heard the lyrics in a way I never had before.

“A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices”

O Holy Night

As a culture, we tend to equate joy with happiness. We see the holidays as a time when everyone gathers, gives presents and all is calm and bright. But when we hear those lyrics after loss, we have a connection to the weary world in a way we might not have ever experienced before. In the darkness of our hurt and grief, the lyricist invites us into a mystery that few understand. Joy and weariness can both exist simultaneously.

As believers, we know true and full joy is found in and given by God – “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing” (Romans 15:13 ESV) – and it comes through presence with Him (Psalm 16:11 ESV). God fills us with joy and peace through our belief in Him.

But how do we seek joy when God feels far away and all we can see through our filter of grief is heartache and sadness? By reminding ourselves of the true source of joy, Jesus. That through seeking Him, we would find a joy that is true and not a counterfeit happiness.

There is a more outdated definition of rejoice I prefer that encompasses the fullness of the word – cause joy to; bring joy; return or rejoin to joy. The weary world has joy because of the hope that has come, not circumstances aligning to our desires. The effects of a broken and fallen world will always be around, but may we be a people who seek to return to joy by chasing after our savior, Jesus, even in the midst of brokenness. May the hope He provides allow our broken hearts return to joy.

Even with weary hearts, we can have joy because of the hope we have in Jesus who came to this world to save us from the brokenness and redeem all the loss that should not be.

I pray your holiday season is gentle and that you would be able to lean into Jesus and find the joy only He can provide to those weary from the weight of loss and grief.

meet the author: Diedra Black

Author Bio: Hi! My name is Diedra Black and I live with my Husband, Matt in the suburbs of Dallas. Our daughter Eleanor Jeanne was born July 2020 and after a short 2 hours Earth-side, she went to meet Jesus. We do not have any other children, but we have 2 fur babies - Piper, a 9 year old 70 lb. lap dog, and Molly, a 1 year old tailless cat.

Connect with Author: Instagram @itsmedee1223