Birthdays, Anniversaries, & Milestones After a Life-Limiting Diagnosis | Episode 126 with Meg Walker
Episode 126
In this episode Meg Walker joins me to talk about navigating milestones and important dates after the loss of a baby due to a life-limiting diagnosis. She shares with us what those milestone and important or difficult dates are for her. Specifically we spend some time talking about her son’s diagnosis day and what that looks like for her every year -- as Meg says “that’s the before and after for me -- the day everything changed.”
Meg talks about what has surprised her about navigating those milestone days, how she plans for those days and how she cares for herself amidst the more difficult seasons in her calendar year and practically what those days look like for her. How she celebrates her son’s birthday, why she doesn’t sing happy birthday and how she grieves on the anniversary of his diagnosis. She also shares helpful wisdom about knowing when to include others and inviting them into these days.
And as you heard at the beginning of this episode, my favorite part of this episode is when Meg reminded all of that no matter what we as grieving moms do, whether we plan elaborate events or cry in our bed or do nothing out of the ordinary at all on those milestone or important days, what we do or don’t do doesn’t take away from how important and meaningful our babies are.
This conversation is honest and candid and very tender to both of us as you will hear -- we both share what we have learned over the past few years and how our view of milestone days have changed, mistakes we have made, false pressures we have put on ourselves, what still feels hard but also the beautiful moments we have experienced.
QUESTIONS we discuss IN EPISODE 126
What are some of the important days in your year?
What has surprised you about navigating your important dates over the years?
What are some ways that you celebrated your son’s birthday over the years? How do you celebrate with your spouse or family?
How has this celebration of his birthday changed over the years?
Are there any special rituals you do to celebrate in your own heart?
What other dates or seasons, besides the obvious ones like a birthday or due date, are difficult for you? And is there anything special you do to mark those days? Diagnosis day
How do you care for yourself leading up to these dates or in these seasons?
How do you know whether to include others or not in your important dates?
What advice would you give a grieving mom about what to expect or how to prepare in regards to due dates or birthdays?
Meet Meg
Meg first began her grief journey in August of 2016 when she and her still-new husband received a life-limiting diagnosis for their oldest son, Jacob. From carrying him to term to saying goodbye to him after seven beautiful hours, Meg learned that joy and sorrow can coexist. Ten months later she lost a second baby via miscarriage leaving her devastated and hopeless.
Over the years Meg has grown to love serving and caring for grieving women who are navigating those messy, early, and complicated days of grief, looking for hope even in utter darkness. She offers a compassionate ear and gentle advice for women in seasons of despair while also learning to embrace the continual joy and sorrow of her own personal, ever-changing, and beautiful grief.
You can find Meg over on her website and also on her Instagram account @megawalker.
Letter Writing Guide
15 Letter writing prompts to reflect and process your grief on important but difficult days like birthdays, due dates, Diagnosis Dates, & anniversaries.
