Navigating A Life-Limiting Prenatal Diagnosis, Mental Health in Grief, & Pregnancy After Loss | Episode 110 with Adeyling Fiallos

Life-Limiting-Prenatal-Diagnosis-Infant-Loss-Mental-Health-Pregnancy-After-Loss-Miscarriage-Stillbirth-SIDs-Adeyling-Fiallos-1.png

Episode 110

My guest this week is Adeyling Fiallos. Adeyling experienced a miscarriage that was later followed by the death of her newborn son, Sage, due to a life-limiting condition. Adeyling became an advocate for pregnancy and infant loss in her community and founded Sage and Sara Candle Co (named after her babies) where she makes beautifully scented candles and gives back to hospitals and nonprofits with each purchase. Her mission is to help bring light and comfort to parents amidst the dark days following the loss of their child(ren).

Adelying and I talked about many aspects of loss as it related to her story specifically. We talked about what it was like to receive a prenatal life-limiting diagnosis, what it was like to carry a baby you knew would likely not live very long outside the womb, what it was like to prepare for birth and very profoundly what it was like to go home without her baby. Where everything looked as though nothing had changed but everything had changed. She would never be the same. And she gives helpful and practical advice to any mom listening who has been given a prenatal life-limiting diagnosis about how to prepare for birth and what to expect in the days after.

We also talk about those first few weeks and months after her son died, specifically as it relates to her mental and emotional health. We talked about how grief and depression and postpartum depression have very similar symptoms — if you have any thoughts of harming yourself or are experiencing intense emotions in a way that is inhibiting normal life functions, please seek professional medical help right away.

No matter where you are in your grief journey Adeyling shares some very practical advice about what has helped her mental and emotional health since experiencing her losses that I think will be really helpful to you. She talks about the role acupuncture played as well as sleep medication. She talks about how valuable writing and journaling was to her as well as finding the right grief support group and how helpful online communities were to her. (If you are not a part of The Joyful Mourning Community — we would really love to have you. Life after baby loss is incredibly lonely and we want to come alongside and remind you that you are not alone. We are with you. We understand what you are walking through. Come join us by heading to themorning.com/community.

Adeyling also shares her thoughts about trying to conceive again and we talk about what pregnancy after loss has been like for her. At the time of this recording Adeyling was 18 weeks pregnant and if you are pregnant after loss or thinking about trying to conceive or currently trying, I think you will be able to relate to what she has to say about this in a profound way. If you are on a pregnancy after loss journey make sure to check out our complete resource library and join us in our pregnancy after loss community — we would love to have you.

This episode is tender and honest and full of relatable moments and helpful wisdom. I think it’s going to really bless you today.

PREGNANCY AFTER LOSS LIBRARY

PREGNANCY AFTER LOSS COMMUNITY

QUESTIONS we discuss IN EPISODE 110

Tell us more about Sage’s diagnosis.
What would you say to a mom who has received a similar diagnosis?
Is there anything you wish you would have known about carrying a baby with life-limiting diagnosis to term?
Tell me how you prepared for Sage’s birth.
Is there anything you wish you had done differently in regards to Sage’s birth?
For the mom listening who has received a life-limiting diagnosis, how would you tell her to prepare for leaving the hospital?
You told me that you have battled depression since experiencing your losses. Tell me more about that.
How did you make the decision to try to conceive again? Did you feel ready to try again? What would you say to a woman who is trying to make that decision?
What has pregnancy after loss been like for you?
What is one way that you remember, honor or celebrate your babies?

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN EPISODE 110

How to Photograph Your Baby (when a photographer can’t be there)

Life-Limiting-Prenatal-Diagnosis-Infant-Loss-Mental-Health-Pregnancy-After-Loss-Miscarriage-Stillbirth-SIDs-Adeyling-Fiallos-3.png

Life-Limiting-Prenatal-Diagnosis-Infant-Loss-Mental-Health-Pregnancy-After-Loss-Miscarriage-Stillbirth-SIDs-Adeyling-Fiallos-4.png

Meet Adeyling

After experiencing a miscarriage that was later followed by the death of her newborn son, Sage, Adeyling became an advocate for pregnancy and infant loss in her community. She is now the founder of Sage and Sara Candle Co (named after her babies) where she makes beautifully scented candles and gives back to hospitals and nonprofits with each purchase. Her mission is to help bring light and comfort to parents amidst the dark days following the loss of their child(ren). With each purchase, Adeyling donates candles and/or profits to local organizations that provide support to families that have experienced a loss.

Pregnant for the third time, Adeyling is hopeful that she and her husband of 8 years will bring a baby boy home for the first time this July. When she is not making candles, Adeyling can be found in the kitchen making her favorite meals for her small family.